the silver lining of my shit covered cloud...

I don't even really want to talk about it. And the title of this blog is dedicated to Jen...and to the bird that shit on my arm while hiking this afternoon. Haha.

I'm so sad. So lonely despite the roommate downstairs and the dogs laying at my feet. I just want to blast some Danity Kane/Taylor Swift/Leona Lewis/Jordan Sparks & Chris Brown, and so on and drive to Brentwood and ask her to forever be my bestest friend, to love me forever and not move away.

However, I know that this isn't something I can REALLY do. I know that she truly is one of my best friends in all the world, and in loving her like I do, I have to let her go and do what she feels she's being called to do. I wouldn't be a very good "girlfriend" if I didn't. Even if I am selfish, I know she has to do this...

But it sucks, and it hurts. It hurts tonight because she called me crying at 10:30PM on my way home from Chelsee's and it reminds me of how much it's going to hurt in the next coming weeks and how much I'm going to miss her all those nights where all I want to do is come over and crash in her bed, eat all her chips, and talk about stupid things and quote them later on Facebook. Or those time when we just complete eachother's thoughts/sentences and are always thinking the same thing....Awkward. Cafe Coco. Get my camera. Chocolate. Jameson. Quote that on Facebook. Jesus Bolin. And so on...

It was a lovely weekend. A weekend spent with friends that I love and truly adore being around. A weekend spent with my Jen...drinking, hiking, hot tubbing, eating (of course), cuddling with dogs...gosh, we pretty much sound like the perfect couple, haha. I'm going to miss not being able to have that whenever I want it. Because lately, I have had it...I have had those fun, hilarious, random times with her...just about everyday for weeks. And now...now she's going to drive her little Focus up to Michigan, stay in a hotel all by her lonesome tomorrow night, read this blog at some point, and know that I miss her like crazy already. I miss you because you get me and make me feel okay with that...I don't have to apologize for anything with you, you make me laugh until it's so awkward and hysterical that I almost pee myself, take the stupidest pictures b/c we love it and want to post even funnier captions for them....you know the way to my heart....Any song on The River, dessert, reality TV, your sweat pants.

I knew it was coming, but yet, I still feel so unprepared. And I know some of you will read this and think, "Uh, she's coming back in a few months" But that just shows you how much you don't get us. I can't cry anymore because I've already done fits of crying throughout the day. So...I'm gonna go ahead and read a trash mag in bed and try to sleep.

Goodnight girlfriend.